I really like the thought that I can believe whatever I want. But I find I’m not able to truly believe this thought in certain circumstances and maybe I need a ladder thought?
Specifically, when an “authority” figure disagrees with my beliefs / choices related to health care and vaccines, I notice it shakes my confidence and I tend to spiral. I come from a family that does not vaccinate and some are doctors who believe the COVID vaccine is dangerous. I’ve felt torn (and that feels awful) but I plan to get the vaccine. When they share their thoughts I let it shake me.
I would like to be in the position of making my own decision, executing on that decision, then feeling confident and great about it. Instead, I’m experiencing fear of making the wrong choice, disappointment that I’m making the decision from fear instead of empowerment, as well as disappointment that I’m wasting so much energy on dealing with other people’s judgment of my choice.
C: Person with authority (education / experience) says words (along the lines of the COVID vaccine is dangerous)
T: What if I’m wrong? Health is too important to not be sure.
F: Judged and unsure
A: Endless research / Googling in attempt to feel resolved and certain, but this doesn’t happen because there is too much conflicting information
R: Spending too much time trying to “figure this out” at the expense of other responsibilities. No resolution. Overthinking.