Fear of Success


I tend to do things well and get some success, but I have a visceral reaction whenever I attain any kind of success in public and I feel like it keeps me from moving forward as quickly as I could. Examples:

This morning, I discovered that one of my posts on FB was receiving a lot of positive engagement and I froze and closed the page right away.
A year ago, I received an award for performance at work and I had a panic attack afterwards
I have many other examples of when I have done this in the past.
I’m not entirely sure what all my thoughts are: “I don’t deserve this” or “Now what do I do” or “I can’t handle this” I haven’t dug deep enough yet because of how it feels when I think about it.