fear of there always being a "next time i overeat"

I’ve been practicing allowing urges with the intention of stopping overeating. I’m doing well except once a week or so, I feel like I cave/give in/give up and the overeating urges take my brain hostage for a day or half a day. I feel powerless in those moments. I’m worried that I’ll continue doing this 1x/week forever and that I’ll never be able to truly trust myself around food. I hate how I feel when I overeat. I hate how distracted I feel from my family after I’ve overeaten. I’m preoccupied with myself and feeling angry at myself for “screwing up”
I don’t want to feel like that anymore. Today has been fine but I’m always feeling scared of the next time I wake up and feel the aggressive urges taking over my brain. I want to be able to shut that down but I don’t feel powerful enough to do that. The urges confuse my brain so I don’t even know what is happening until it’s happening and then I give in.