I’ve noticed that I have a fear/shame cycle. Noticing is important and one other thing that I noticed is that I want to eliminate it. It happens often around my business (starting my coaching business – currently have 2 clients and am trying to sign 10 more), but in lots of other areas too. It’s pretty consistent and I often wake up with the feeling of anxiety/shame in my body which feels awful. Here’s one example from last night (Saturday). My spouse was sick so I had a few hours to myself. I read a little, drank tea and watched a couple episodes of Billions. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking that I should’ve been working on my business instead. Please help me come up with a new T or way to manage this cycle. Thank you!
C- Watched Billions
T – I should’ve worked on my business
F – Shame (also fear)
A – Worried about biz, signing clients, and money. Listened to podcasts while trying to sleep, then didn’t sleep well. Woke up feeling anxious in my body. Mind racing. Thought I should start Sunday doing tons of work to “make up” for wasting time last night. Want to eliminate the fear/worry/shame cycle. Wake up deciding I don’t have enough time to do everything I need to do today. Think business won’t succeed.
R – Punish self for “doing something wrong.”
T – This is just the worry/shame cycle again.
F – Aware
A – Notice all the physical feelings, ask the question here, try not to take the urgent actions I want to take (I don’t have much else)
R – Aware of the cycle