Hello! It has come to my attention over the past week or so that I often show up in the world with an underlying low level of stress and on the verge of agitation. It’s crazy to me I wasn’t really aware of this before – as I feel this way a lot – but I guess I’m just so used to the feeling I just overlooked it. I generally avoid / resist by eating (though not enough to be overweight). Anyways…I have been pondering a lot as to why I choose to feel this way on an ongoing basis and have come to the realization that it very much has to do with me feeling like I should be doing more with my boys. Judgments around us not being social “enough” / not getting out of the house as much as we “should.” How much we get out really isn’t relevant I suppose; what matters is my thinking and how it is affecting me. Ultimately, I am putting pressure on myself to do / be more than I am doing / being.

Unintentional

C – How we spend our time during the day.
T – We should be doing more.
F – Stressed
A – Spin thoughts that lead to guilt / shame. Less likely to engage in more activities / interactions with people.
R – Doing less.

Intentional

C – How we spend our time during the day.
T – Who I’m being matters more than what I’m doing, and I’m learning how to show up as the best of version of myself regardless of the circumstances. Nothing in my day needs to change for me to be who I want to be.
F – Confident
A – Have fun with my children, regardless of what we are doing. Make the simple fun, including chores. Smile more. Have my own back. Greater acceptance of self. Feel lighter.
R – Time well spent.

I’m writing because I have also notice I have a habit of trying to act myself into thinking/feeling. And it never works. I just cycle through the same attempts at repeated cycles of change. I really want to focus on changing my thinking about my day as opposed to changing my day to feel better about it (I have tried the latter…but seems I’m endlessly trying to change it. lol). I want to focus my brain towards the positive in my day and practicing this intentional thought / others like it…practice feeling stress all the way through without buffering as I notice it throughout my day…and really get to know where it’s coming from. My thought is to also journal at the end of each day about what went well in the day and what was perfect, things learned, etc. Am I on the right track here as far as the recommended method for changing thinking vs. changing circumstances goes? Would appreciate your feedback and any additional thoughts. Thanks much!