I’m visiting my family next week and really want it to be an amazing trip. I know that’s all up to me and my thoughts so I’ve been doing self-coaching and working through a few scenarios I know have triggered me in the past. One of them relates to my younger sister who’s now 15 and is 16 years younger than I am. Here’s how I processed this;
When she makes certain comments or does certain things my thoughts are that she’s spoiled or self-centered. For example, I tell her a story about something and she goes, “Yeah. So anyway…” and then starts talking about something related to her.
C= Sister says, “So, anyway”
T = She’s so self-centered
F = Annoyed
A = Shutdown in the conversation; don’t engage in conversation; don’t want to talk to her; don’t listen to what she has to say; Give detached responses like “yeah” or “uh huh”
R = I’m not fully present in the conversation
I realized that not only do I have a manual for her that she shouldn’t act this way, but I’m doing exactly what I don’t want her to do lol
Instead, I wanted to show up as loving and present regardless of what she says or does because she gets to act how she wants and I get to show up the way I want. So:
C = Sister says “So, anyway”
T = I don’t have to fix her, I just get to love her
F = Loving
A = Continue talking and listening to her; engage in the conversation; see the world from her eyes; laugh when she says that.
R = I’m fully present in the conversation
Thanks for the feedback!