I feel more comfortable with a little bit of clutter

I am noticing that I feel a little bit more comfortable or like “me” with some clutter. Not messy or dirty but like some papers on the kitchen island, or leaving my office desk with a few piles, or leaving some clothes in a stack in my bedroom. I know you might say if that feels good to you then thats fine. But I am always wondering why I feel less me when I have things really picked up in my house? I can actually feel the resistance sometimes to picking up the last amount of clutter. Any thoughts or pattern I may need to look at?