Feeling all over the place

Hi Brooke,
My title question sums it up. When I started the program I was making my drinking plan no drinking M-Th and F,S,S I was drinking up to a bottle a night. I was feeling good about the M-Th even though I did have some slip ups and made excuses for drinking but the important part was I was learning from those slip ups. On the last Q and A it was suggested that to experience more urges I should drink every other night (3 glasses for me as a start) instead of not drinking at all M-Th. So to experience more urges I did this by allowing a drink plan 2 week nights withing M-Th. On Tuesday I allowed myself 3 glasses and then stopped, yet I can’t even tell if after the 3rd glass I was experiencing any urge and/or I just stopped. Thursday I allowed myself to experience 3 glasses but it led to the bottle! The difference was on Tuesday I was alone and able to concentrate on what I was doing and Thursday (last night) I was in a group setting and did not pay any attention to my drinking and then finished the bottle without even an attempt to think about what or why I was doing this. I know we have to have a thought that leads to a feeling and an action. My action was drink more. I think my thought was Oh F it! but I can’t place what the emotion was. Now its the weekend and my plan is to allow myself a bottle if I want each night. I just feel all over the place. Should I go back and not drink M-Th and allow myself up to a bottle on weekend nights or keep going with the drinking every other night M-Th and keep weekends the same? (notice I’m not doing “every other night”) I’m going from nothing Monday thru Thursday and a bottle on weekend nights to 2 nights within M-Th and then there is F, Sat, and sometimes Sunday. The point of the switching of plans from the Q and A with you last Monday was to be able to experience more urges by allowing a drink plan every other night of the week. But I feel like its to far of a leap for me to do every other night within in 7 nights which include not drinking a night on a weekend. Ahhh! are you even following this? I’m not sure I am lol! HELP!