Feeling all the emotions after advocating for self at work


I am working on a 2022 funding proposal for my team at work. This proposal is supporting a vision that I have that combines two teams, aligns us with a career path (we currently don’t have one), and includes a promotion and raise for myself. I have support for this proposal from my boss and the teams I work with, and I am now working on finalizing the details to present up the chain of management (above my boss) to get this approved and funded for 2022. I have asked for pay band information to be made available for certain roles in this new career path, so I am able to accurately represent the investment that would need to be made for this to happen. HR has not responded and is holding the information close. My boss is currently working on trying to get it from them since they aren’t responding to me.

Today, I expressed to my boss that my biggest frustration with this company is that there is a complete lack of transparency around salaries. I’m not advocating that everyone’s salary should be public, but sharing pay band information should not be so controversial or difficult. I’ve never shared that frustration with someone in my management chain only had discussions with a few close co-workers. After the meeting where I shared that information with her, I felt so many different emotions. After sitting with them for a bit, I did a thought download, listed all the emotions I was feeling, and generally tried to dig into the experience I was having. I am finding that there are two major things going on: 1. thoughts that are coming from my manual of what I think my boss should be doing with this information (and just generally), and 2. celebrating the fact that I had this conversation. Experiencing both within the same time frame is something that I would usually use to indulge overwhelm. Instead, in this situation, I am working on honoring the emotions, looking at the thoughts, doing some models, and getting some support through “Ask a Coach.” I picked two models, one for each of the major themes I identified. I’d love to get some feedback on them and anything else I’ve discussed above. Thanks so much!

C: Shared info about lack of pay transparency
T: I don’t know if she will do the right thing
F: Anxious
A: Wait to see what she does
R: I procrastinate and don’t move forward with finalizing the parts of the proposal that I can right now

C: Shared info about lack of pay transparency
T: I advocated for change
F: Proud
A: Continue to finalize parts of the proposal that I can right now and create estimates the best I can
R: Ready with the proposal no matter the outcome of what my boss does