Feeling – always in trouble

I know my predominant and subconscious feeling is that I am always in trouble, and/or I’ve done something wrong that is going to get me in trouble. I know where this narrative comes from, and it is feels so real and true for me that even though I can think I want to feel differently, and I practice feeling differently, inevitably something triggers and I am in the thought/feeling loop all over again that keeps me going back to what I know – binging and purging, to deal with feelings of shame and fear and aloneness. will it ever end? will I ever be able to believe and have a natural response to people and situations that feels more real than being wrong and in trouble and afraid? I have been at this for sometime now, and I am starting to question my ability to ever truly make a change.