How do you feel the emotion of anger and frustration, without being rash, without yelling or speaking louder, without wanting to punch or throw things away?

I am often angry in the presence of my partner and I want to feel my anger without reacting to it, and without having my husband to be the one receiving it.
I heard Brooke says that when she feels angry or sad, people can’t tell because she is feeling it. I don’t get that.

What is emotional intelligence around anger? What are the best ways to feel it when it arises?