Feeling and dealing with anger without lashing out

How do you feel the emotion of anger and frustration, without being rash, without yelling or speaking louder, without wanting to punch or throw things away?

I am often angry in the presence of my partner and I want to feel my anger without reacting to it, and without having my husband to be the one receiving it.
I heard Brooke says that when she feels angry or sad, people can’t tell because she is feeling it. I don’t get that.

What is emotional intelligence around anger? What are the best ways to feel it when it arises?