I’ve talked with a coach during a 20-minute session about this very topic but based on my workday today, I still need some sense talked into me!

I am currently training a new employee to take over my position while I transition into a new role in the same company. I find myself very, very annoyed with her. She takes frequent smoke breaks and then eats Cheezits and beef jerky at my desk, and all the smells combined are nauseating. She wears hot pink Doc Martins and ripped jeans in an office setting, is super passive and talks very quietly, and all of it is driving me up a wall! I understand that SHE cannot annoy me, nor can her Cheezits and pink boots and voice, and that it’s my thoughts and judgement about these things that are annoying me. I’m literally letting Cheezits determine how I show up! I’m short with her. I don’t want to help her. And frankly, I’m being a bitch.

I’ve tried thinking more accepting thoughts about her (e.g., “She matters. She is adding value to our team.”) and didn’t find those helpful. I’ve tried thinking “I’m in control of how I show up. I choose not to give that power to anyone or anything. I choose to show up exactly the way I intend to” and wasn’t feeling any less annoyed with those. What am I missing?