I find myself regressing to into self-judging thoughts after conversations with my mom. She often expresses disapproval of people who don’t fit her manuals. I then start to fall into old habits of thinking. And I feel guilty for trying to think differently. How do I work on the thought “I am a bad person for wanting to think differently”?
Here’s my try at a model:
C: I talk to my mom.
T: Oh my gosh, I am such a bad person.
A: Write into Ask a Coach, avoid thinking for myself, avoid taking responsibility for new ways of thinking, avoid taking ownership for thinking of things in a different way, indulge in fear that my mom will judge me, give my mom all the power in determining what’s “right”.
R: I give other people the power to define me.
I’m not sure my result is correct, but I do know I’m onto something with what I identified in the action line.