Feeling ashamed of living at home


I have been a single mom of two since I was 20. My parents live in a three-story colonial on a big property and converted their first floor into a two-bedroom apartment. When I was 23, they offered this space to me to rent. I am turning 30 later this year and I feel inadequate that we still live here. Apartments in my area would double my monthly expenses, and that doesn’t fit within my budget. Because I had children young, I’m just now working towards my degree, so I feel I can’t get a high-earning job because I’m unqualified. Although I work full-time and pay my rent and bills on time, I feel I shouldn’t still be living here. My brother last Christmas told me I was “still mom’s dependant” even though I technical live separately from my parents. My parents say every now and then, “When you move out…[we’re going to sell and downsize].” I go back and forth between defending being here (safe, affordable housing for my family) and being triggered by still living here (I should be out on my own, even if it means struggling financially; or worse: I shouldn’t still be struggling financially).

What do I want? To feel good about my decision to be here, or to move into my own place? And if I were to move, how do I fix my income problem? Different models, different feelings, and none of it feels good.