I am working through the How to Make Yourself Feel Better modules and I have realised that one of my lifelong issues is feeling a lack of connection to others which causes me to withdraw. Through the model, I have worked out that I expect others to reach out to me which would make me feel special. When they don’t, I feel like they don’t like me, and I withdraw.

C – others do not reach out to me
T – they don’t like me
F – shame
A – withdraw
R – ongoing lack of connection

I would like to feel connection with people, but I found myself asking “Is it possible to feel connected to people even if they don’t feel connected to me?”. I know that the answer is yes because I have experienced that before, but I have given up trying so hard because I experience rejection when they don’t reach out to me in return. I recognise that I have an expectation but I don’t know what I would replace that thought with. Can you help me with how to get out of this model please?