Feeling defeated with men and dating


I have gone out this week and looked cute and talked to plenty of men, some of whom are single. I had an intention to make out or exchange contact info with someone and it didn’t happen (except for the nice gay guy who is now following me on IG, lol). Last night, I looked super sexy and my female friends commented and one even grabbed my boobs at one point. I talked to and danced with a bunch of guys and nothing happened. I feel like my vibe must be off and has been off for some time. I feel like I should be able to manifest this (dates and make-outs and eventually sex) and I’m not so far. The last couple years, I didn’t have much interest in sex or dating and wasn’t meeting many people. At least now I am getting out and meeting guys regularly. But I’m developing a complex about it. Nothing gets off the ground for me.

Last night, I danced with a bunch of guys and had some nice chats, but nothing went anywhere. I had thought one guy was kind of interested in me, but he said he was “gonna go take a lap” after once dance. Ug! Meanwhile, my friend is having sex or making out or cuddling with seemingly every guy she meets–3 guys in 4 days! Clearly she and I are putting out very different vibes and I’m wondering what is so off about my vibe that I’m not getting what I want.

My guy friend visited last week and he even commented how many scenarios I’ve had in the last few months where I meet a guy and connect on some level, but nothing gets off the ground and it seems like a “near miss.” One guy asked for my number, but thinks my friend and I are both coming out dancing, so I guess it was never a date. Then we all go out dancing and we are basically grinding on each other and I’m dying for him to kiss me, but he doesn’t (but said he was tempted) then we stop and are chatting and he asks if I’m single. Then I never hear from him again. Or another guy–we had a moment and then he kinda ignores me at the next event, so I tell him I was developing a crush and it seemed kind of mutual, but did I misread it. He says he felt a special connection too but wants to be single for now. Or the guy I did actually make out with once who doesn’t want our recent hangout to be considered a date, so invites a couple other people to join, but then lingers too long giving me multiple hugs and kisses on the cheek at the end. Or the single guy at the party who was fun on the dance floor, but kinda runs away, but then comes to find me and we talk for 2 hours while he flirts with me and ignores every other woman there . . . but then doesn’t get my number. There are several other smaller stories like this where it seems like someone is showing interest, but it is short-lived or I get mixed signals about it.

I understand dating is a process and it won’t work out in the long-run with most guys, but can I at least get some make-outs, dates and sex in the meantime? I feel like I am starving for affection while my two besties are getting all sorts of attention and now I’m feeling insecure and like I’m just cursed or something because it doesn’t seem like I’m doing anything obvious to push guys away. It also seems like there’s just a short supply of emotionally available guys who want a relationship (but not kids).  I am feeling down about this and don’t want to stay in this negative Nancy place about it.