Feeling deflated

Hi Brooke,
I am new to SCS and so happy I finally made the plunge to join the program. I have been listening and tying to apply the concepts of your podcasts for over a year. I feel I have made some progress in managing my Mind, but I am excited to make more improvements through SCS.
I dove into all the materials as soon as I got access and I may have over done it because now I am feeling deflated. A recurring thought I have is “I am defective and need to change”. This thought revolves around many concepts- attitudes towards work, always looking for reassurance, money philosophy, always having negative thoughts, abilities and values I put out into the world… to name a few. As I have worked through some of the Asset programs (Money and How to feel better) and the bonus box materials I keep thinking I need to change. I do the thought downloads and work through the model as well as all the workbook questions , but I always get back to the thought I am failing at doing the this work.
I don’t know where to start. Any direction or thoughts are appreciated.