Feeling devastated at weight gain


C: Scale shows a larger mass although protocol has been followed
T: I don’t know what I did wrong
F: Helpless and frantic
A: Frantic, start analyzing and thinking about what was different, bite nails, the same feelings I used to buffer over are coming up, I’m starting to feel panicked that I’m not going to hit my goal because I thought I was doing a good job, especially today, and my weight is up significantly. I work myself up into a panic, basically, and start doubting everything.
R: I buffer in confusion, I give away my power

I feel like I was doing so good, and I haven’t been doing thoughtwork every day because I was sooo close to my goal. I didn’t think I had really changed anything in my protocol, but I did eat out at restaurants – very responsibly – and I’ve also done this before and lost weight, but I just stepped on the scale and it’s up FIVE POUNDS. I’m basically panicking. I cannot give up on this goal, but even when I think that thought, it feels like it’s from a place of scarcity.

I know I have to process that feeling through and not just swap thoughts.

New thought:
It’s possible to feel panicky and also take frontal lobe action toward my goal
It’s possible that I can handle feelings of uncertainty
It’s possible that nothing has gone wrong here at all

I think I’m telling myself that my weight has gone up because I have started looking toward other goals besides just my weight loss goal, and therefore if I don’t put 100% of my focus on weight loss I will never be able to hit goal and sustain it. I think that’s ultimately what’s causing the panic, because I have other life goals I want to achieve. I don’t want all my focus to be on weight, and I’ve been telling myself to focus on this one goal until I achieve it, first.

C: Scale says 1X6.6
T: If I don’t put 100% focus on weight loss I will never hit goal and sustain it
F: Trapped
A: I spin around and ruminate in my head wondering what I did wrong, letting my reptile brain run the show, I don’t actually look for ways to lovingly nurture myself through this process, I don’t learn from this event
R: I don’t lose weight and I don’t put 100% focus on any goal

Intentional model

C Scale says 1X6.6
T. Nothing has gone wrong. What can I learn from this?
F. Curious
A. I ask myself what has been different (a few obvious things, I’ve been eating out more the past two days, and I haven’t been strict with protocol, and I think I’m eating past +2 on the hunger scale, I’m eating less soup, I’m about to start ovulating also…I’m also not drinking enough water, I haven’t been as focused with my daily thoughtwork on the scale and food)
R. I learn what has changed

I still very much have the belief that “higher number on the scale is bad” and “lower number on the scale is good.” I’m truly not neutral with the scale, and I am accepting that more than I have before.

Another possible model

C scale says 1X6.6
T. I know exactly what to do to lose this weight
F. Confident
A. Plan my protocol for tomorrow and stick to it. Do thoughtwork in the morning.
R. I do what I need to do to lose the weight

Ultimately, also, I know that my weight is a reflection of my thinking!!

Open to feedback and help thank you!