Feeling envy


I often feel envious of other people’s success. I hate this feeling. I am ashamed of it. I judge myself for feeling it.
Thoughts triggering envy are:
She/he is not better than me. I should have it too. It’s not fair.
I am less successful than he/she.
I am not as smart/ confident/ beautiful as he/she.
He/she doesn’t deserve this success.

I noticed that I usually feel better about other people’s success if there is some kind of drama behind it. It’s almost like I have an unconscious belief that one deserves good things only if they suffered enough.
I think my envy is trying to pass me an important message about my beliefs that are stopping me on the road to success.
Maybe it’s ok to feel envy and I should look with curiosity at it instead of resisting it.