Feeling fully vs ruminating

I’m a recovering perfectionist. I’ve heard you say perfectionists are scared people and I can certainly attest to that. I challenged myself to do something strongly outside of my comfort zone to prove to myself that I can handle being embarrassed and that embarrassment is nothing to be afraid of. And now it feels like its backfiring on me, hard. I try to allow myself to feel the emotion all the way through but I can’t tell the difference between doing that and replaying the event over and over again like a broken loop, then seizing up with fear, HELP! Any pointers? I really want to grow and allow myself to take up more space in my world rather than cowering in fear because of what I think others might think. I’m signing up to do more unnerving things as part of my fails for this year, and I just don’t want to get stuck and develop so much negative feelings that I start running away from my goals altogether just to avoid negative feelings.