Feeling guilty


I want to end a relationship with someone and I like my reasons, but I find it really difficult to stay out of their model and not feel guilty for hurting them. I intellectually know that my words don’t hurt them and that their thoughts create their feelings…but I still feel responsible. I become tempted to change his C line by not honoring what I want.

Unintentional Model:
C: I say to partner “I would like to end this relationship”
T: They are sad, and it’s my fault
F: Guilt
A: Debate staying in the relationship, even though I don’t want to
R: I’m sad that I don’t have my own back and that I am second guessing myself and it’s all my own creation

Intentional Model:
C: I say to partner “I would like to end this relationship”
T: This is the best thing for both of us
F: Relief
A: Go ahead with ending it, move out, move on, have my own back
R: ?

I’m finding it hard to get from one to the other.