Feeling guilty about decision that affects parents


We’re heading to my parents cottage for the weekend. Feeling guilty about the fact that next month, we are buying my in-laws cottage. We’ll continue to use my parents cottage in the winter and I’ve said that we want to still come to them in the summer and have them come to us. But it’s the end of an era of us jointly using the one place.

I thought I had processed my guilt but here it is popping up again.

I really want to buy this cottage. I’m excited to have my own place. To have more room. To spend my summers on that particular lake.

But I feel sooo badly about my parents.

T: I’m abandoning them
T: I have caused my Mom to feel abandoned
T: I am an ungrateful daughter
T: Her sadness was preventable and is my fault
T: You should be happy with their cottage
T: The cottage was this special place of bonding and memory-making and you’ve ruined it
T: You’re prioritizing yourself and leaving your parents behind in their old age

These T’s are so strong! And so harsh! I can think all of the other deliberate T’s but my mind say “yah but….” about the other stuff.

Any advice on next steps in this work?