Feeling Guilty About Getting Married

I’m going to get married next year… And while I’m absolutely thrilled about it, I’m also feeling very guilty about it. I have a lot of money drama about how much to pay for the wedding, and I’m also a full-time Life Coach who is trying to get her business “up and running.” Last year I made $39k, and this year I’ve made $32k so far. My wedding budget is $25k. I have so many doubts that I’ll be able to pay for the wedding, and I’m feeling guilty every time I buy something towards the wedding (e.g. venue reservation, rentals, looking at wedding dresses).

I totally know that I have an option to elope and I do not have to pay money for this wedding… but a part of me is thinking, “I want to have this dream wedding” and I want to make money in my business to help make that goal a reality.

But I’m feeling conflicted… I’m thinking, “Should I be realistic and not even think about making purchases towards my wedding since I don’t have the $25,000 to spend on it now?” I’m also thinking, “Maybe it’s irresponsible of me to believe that I can make money in my business to pay for this wedding since I don’t have the money yet.”

All these thoughts are leading to me feeling guilt and sadness around this wedding. I feel stuck and my brain is offering that my only solution is to just call off the wedding or just elope. I want to have my “dream wedding” where my family and everyone is there… and I have a feeling that eloping (even if it means saving money) will not make me feel great either.

Any suggestions would be helpful. I know I’m in a lot of mind drama around this… Thank you.