Feeling It #4

Hi Brooke, My new T line as in Feeling It #3 reads like this. ‘I have access to an endless source of creativity always.’
You asked me to think about why I don’t believe that now. Here are some thoughts.
I believe the creativity comes to me from somewhere else. I tap into it unconsciously and it flows into my work through responses and random thoughts. It must be that I don’t trust it will always be there. When I have an exhibition looming an ‘authority figure’ directs my thoughts and making toward the ‘outcome’ and what it will mean if I don’t get it ‘right’. The consequences overpower the creativity. The creativity seems vulnerable against authority. I am locked outside of the source. The ‘authority figure’ says.
‘It’s best if you rely on skill alone. You can stay safe that way. You will get through the exhibition that way. No one will know the difference. ‘ It also says….’you have a reputation to protect. Stay safe at all costs. You can pretend the work is authentic. I am the power here controlling the outcome is the best option. It is risky otherwise’
‘If you connect with creativity you will be given too much choice and you will be overwhelmed with possibility. You know this. This kind of play is for times when there is no exhibition.’
Creativity says. “I have your answers, come with me. I will show you the way to play and make from your heart. Follow the clues, embrace possibility. You will know in your gut when resonance arrives”
It seems the ‘authority figure’ has the upper hand at present. The adversary is a powerful belief. Is that correct ? and how to weaken it’s power. Thoughts?