Feeling like a door mat, keeping it bottled up then exploding and feeling shame and foolish.

Seems so stupid but we ordered $6k for 3 pieces of furniture. The second we left the store it went sideways. Horrible customer service, no follow up and zero communication.
Items finally arrived and light was damaged. We sent pictures and did everything by the book. They said they would replace it and takes a few weeks. 6 weeks later we are chasing them and it’s another 8 weeks for a total of 16 weeks until possibly replaced. I was never told this and wouldn’t have agreed. Also missing pillows we ordered.

My husband has been dealing with this and I didn’t like the way he was handeling. Very passive and non confrontational. After weeks of ignoring us finally get owner on the phone and she is lying and deflecting. I jump on the phone and was professional but very stern. Told her it was unacceptable and want a refund for the damage so we can all move on. She wasted a ton of my time laughing and being condescending. I wanted 30% back and cancel the pillows she offered 10% saying she would barely make a profit. Which I don’t care about. I told her not acceptable and I will do a charge back on my credit card. We could not come to an agreement.

I was so disgusted and was expecting a completely different level of service for that price point. I felt horrible shame and regret after the call. Like I was a bossy nasty bitch making a big problem out of nothing. I’m not sure where it goes wrong. I feel so unheard, door mat, taken advantage of then when I speak up and don’t get what I want I hate myself. It’s happened before with other big things my husband is supposed to resolve and then I swoop in and take over and explode. And hate myself and don’t get what I think is fair.

Can you help untangle this?
Here are some models –
C – store offered 10% refund
T – I should be treated better for spending $6k
F – unimportant, door mat
A – drama, stories how I’m right
R – I’m treating myself bad

C- phone call with store
T – women sounded condesending and laughing
F – rage
A – threaten to charge back
R – ?

C – phone call with store
T – I hate myself for that interaction
F – ashamed
A – withdrawn, rotten mood, hate everyone
R – berate myself

C – spent 30 mins on phone with store
T – this isn’t worth my time
F – foolish
A – withdrawn, detached, sad
R – this isn’t worth my time

Thanks for your help