I’ve had a history of chronic insomnia. Sometimes it manifests as too-early wakeups or waking up halfway through sleep and taking more than an hour to fall back asleep. In and of itself, it’s not a big deal….when I don’t have commitments and plans for the day. I just lounge about at home until my energy picks up. It’s a different story when I have stuff scheduled to do.
This morning was a too-early wakeup. I still feel tired an hour or so after waking up. Tired manifests as physical strain and weight behind my eyes and a pressure in my temples. I feel low, unfocused, and depressed.
I’m aware of thoughts like “How am I supposed to show up for the day when my body isn’t cooperating?” or “I’m not looking forward to doing any of this.”
I could just cancel the whole day, but that would be setting up future me for a stressful situation since a few of today’s commitments are time-sensitive.
I would like to feel acceptance and calm. I just don’t want to do anything. These items on my list that I feel even more resistant toward b/c I’m already low from bad sleep.
I have my dental cleaning, tax appointment, and a work meeting that I’m not looking forward to.
If I felt like I got enough sleep, I would have the energy to show up for these “have-to” appointments.
How do I show up for stuff I don’t want to do (but are vital for my overall wellness and very good for Future Me) when I am dealing with a chronic health condition?