Feeling my feelings

I just don’t want to feel my feelings. I feel so much emptiness and sadness about specific things in life – people I love dying “early,” the state of the world, etc. – but also just generally. I have the thought: Being a human is so hard. I feel like I’m more like 80/20 negative, rather than 50/50. I know I’m creating more suffering on top of suffering by trying to resist my feelings. But, man, I can’t seem to stop choosing the thought that everything is so painful.