Hi Brooke,
I’ve been with scholars for a couple of weeks and working on feeling the negative emotions that in the past I’ve tried to buffer. I’ve been practicing feeling emotions like anxiety, overwhelm, and fear of failure and once they subside I work through the unintentional and a few intentional models. The things is is that I only seem to get a small reprieve before the old thinking creeps back in and I go through the process again. It seems to occur most often when I’m actively working on one of my goals – I’ll be head down, bum up working on my novel and be like ‘ugh, hello fear of failure, didn’t I talk to you ten minutes ago?’ and then I’ll sit with it AGAIN and remind myself that it’s really not that scary of an emotion and that I’m handling it just fine and there’s no need to buffer or run from it. I’ll then pick some thoughts that make me feel confident and determined again and get back to work, but then I go back through the cycle again. Is what I’m going through normal at this stage of the game? I’m thinking it is and that the old patterns of thinking will become less automatic as I continue to practice deliberate thinking, but I just want to check 🙂
Cheers, Kim