Feeling responsible for my ex boyfriend.


Feeling responsible for other people and their feelings is something that I worked on in therapy for a long time. I found where that pattern comes from, built all this awareness around it; but to this day I feel responsible for my friend who’s also my business partner and ex-boyfriend.

I feel guilty if he’s not happy with something and I don’t help. So I do, and as nice as it sounds, this has enabled him to not be responsible for himself in the past. I’ve been introducing some healthy boundaries, which he respects, but sometimes it’s hard for me to stay centered if I know he’s not doing well.

We still work together in our business, and it can be really fun and rewarding, but I tend to fall into a co-dependency where I almost escape into missions to keep him happy. I can’t focus on anything, the anxiety rises until I fix something. And I do tend to get frustrated in the process of “helping”, it feels like I don’t belong to myself, or he’s making me do things, even though he doesn’t even ask.
I want to only be responsible for myself. I know in my mind that he’s perfectly capable to take care of himself, and I want to let go of the need to control his happiness and well-being.