I just found out that my sister’s cancer is back. I was with her when she found out. I spent the day with her. I tried to be a listening ear and just held space for her.
I am now incredibly sad. I sat and was a witness to my sadness. I felt it. Described it. Sat with it. The other thoughts where I have felt sad came up and I felt the sadness deeper yet. Months ago I would have buffered. Now I sat and felt it. What I am curious about is the other issues in my life that I felt I was thinking better thoughts about came up at the same time. It was like sadness invited everyone to come. I was doing so well managing my mind around the other issues but all the sad thoughts showed up like they thought it was a party. Will this keep happening or does this mean I was not really moving forward with the processing of the first issue. Hope that makes sense. What I am making this mean is when we process emotion and change our thoughts the brain likes to go back to what it knows. I think my lower brain thought that my deep sadness was a great opportunity to start a pity party. I told my lower brain that I was on to her and that it was ok that she invited everyone as I’ve got this. My higher brain is convinced that managing your brain is not a done deal. Thoughts will constantly feel invited. I think if one was not a scholar I would sound a bit batty but I think my colleagues may get what I am talking about. Do I need to do anything for these unwanted thoughts.
I feel much better after feeling the vibrations. But am hoping that this will happen less often