Feeling so lost


I have a full-time job, 2 small kids, married, and want to start a business. Now that I see life completely different from 5-10 years ago (I could chase my dream, I don’t have to conform, my thoughts have created today’s life), my brain keeps arguing with reality – should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. I should’ve been working on myself and my brain in my 20s when I had so much more time, no kids, and was early in my career. I could’ve had my kids earlier in my marriage (9 years married before having kids) and now they’d be less dependent on me so I can follow my dream of starting a business. I would’ve had nothing else going on many years ago and could’ve spent all my time trying business ideas. I would’ve been 5-10 years ahead of where I am now.

My brain keeps arguing with reality, and the awareness that I’m developing about how I’ve created my life today causes me to be sad at times because it keeps telling me that I’ve lost/wasted so much time. It’s telling me that my time is running out because I’m 36 and it seems like everyone else is “doing the work” in their 20s, which I know is not true. My models tells me that by thinking I’ve wasted time I don’t take the actions that will produce the results I want and I end up wasting even more time. What can you offer that helps be more intentional with my thoughts about the time I’ve lost.

Unintentional model:
C: I have a family and full time job.
T: You’ve wasted so much time and could’ve had a business by now (in another model I would put “wasted time by not having kids sooner”)
F: Disappointed
A: Ruminate, cry, complain to my husband, buffer with consuming books/more info
R: I continue to waste time on things that are not helping me start a business

Intentional model:
C: I have a family and full time job
T: I have all the knowledge inside me that will be available to me when I need it. (Need help here)
F: Empowered
A: I start creating content and taking steps toward creating value for my niche
R: I start a business

I’m so lost in making that mindset shift to propel me forward.