Feeling “special”

So I have done more work on perfectionism or trying to get people to admire me and I realize this may stem back from my childhood experiences of feeling “rejected”, “left out”, “damaged”.  My father went to prison at an early age in an affluent town and there was a lot of
fallout socially for me from that.  I often watched my mother go into “victimhood” about how she had to do everything and was constantly negative.  I am living into that role now.  I could use some coaching around having to do everything and do it perfectly to be accepted and to also let go of trying to create “special” for me by overeating or little quits.  Thank you!