Feeling through my thought confusion conundrum…


My Achilles heel in life and self coaching has been my habit of falling into confusion and overwhelm, but *mistaking the spinning of my mind for productive analysis and problem solving*. I process information extremely quickly, and I jump ahead to an answer before I’ve fully understood or felt into a question. I’ve gotten a lot of positive reinforcement/praise for my quick thinking and insight, which is part of my reluctance to question myself even when I don’t get the results that I want. And in any case, I think my brain functions differently in my internal dialogues than it does conversing with others.

The bottom line is, I am starting several new and exciting big projects in September, and I know my capacity for success is contingent on a clear, calm, and well organized mind. I haven’t figured out yet what the *felt experience* of overwhelm and confusion is beyond, perhaps, observing more thinking, at a faster pace with less coherence, preceding a task switch. Typically, my internal experience is, at least consciously, the belief that I am problem solving. It’s only in retrospect when I recognize there was a shift from productive focus to avoidance and procrastination.

How can I get more precise with my self observation? I know I have a lot of fear and anxiety around my performance – I know I sometimes harshly judge the quality of my work, and I can have “impossible” standards for myself and what I can achieve. Certainly there are perfectionistic tendencies to work through, but I wonder how to better discern between the discomfort of perfectionistic avoidance and rumination, and the discomfort of perseverance towards excellence. Hope this was clear! Thank you.