Feeling uncomfortable at work


I am trying to understand what happened at work today from coaching on my feelings

C: My boss said ‘frankly I’m offended you said…..since you have only been here a few weeks’ to me
T: something has gone wrong
F: uncomfortable
A: don’t ask for more responsibility at work, show up as timid, be afraid of upsetting others,
R: be afraid at work, don’t show up how I want to at work

Why do I believe that being uncomfortable means something has wrong? Conditioned from many years of being afraid and chastised in my authoritative family of origin

C: boss said ‘frankly I’m offended…..’
T: feeling uncomfortable is bad
F: guilty
A: question where I went wrong, assume I did something wrong, blame myself for someone being upset.
R: beat myself up about someone being upset, take responsibility for what someone is feeling-they feel because of their thoughts, not something I did

Although I am no longer in my family of origin, I am finding it difficult to become emotionally responsible for my feelings of discomfort and guilt, although I am seeing it is standing in my way of showing up as I want.

I am trying on the thought ‘this feeling of discomfort could be trying to tell me something’
F: questioning
A: question why I am feeling uncomfortable in the first place, look at the events from a neutral space, see that what someone says is not why I feel guilty or uncomfortable,
R: take responsibility for why I feel guilty/uncomfortable-because of my thoughts, not because she said she was offended

C:boss says ‘frankly I am offended……’
T: I hit a nerve
F: justified
A: give her space to adjust to my working with her, see things from her perspective and that she could feel her authority could be at risk, offer her opportunities to collaborate
R: have the nerve to navigate this situation