Feeling uncomfortable in my body (feeling fat)


When I have the feeling of discomfort in my body (ie: feeling fat), I have the unintentional, very well practiced thought that “I am getting out of control and better fix this immediately”. This creates a strong urge to actually use protocol or a “food plan” to buffer. As a result, I don’t actually feel the feeling, and then it shows up again when I try to follow protocol, and I buffer over it with food. This to me is leftover diet mentality crap.

The circumstance, I believe is “I feel uncomfortable in my body”. But I don’t mean like, my leg hurts. I mean that I “feel fat” even though I know that’s not a feeling. Maybe my circumstance is “Thought that I feel fat”. Then I have way, way more thoughts about that thought. Here is my ladder. It’s long and I worked hard on it.

Starting thought: “I am getting out of control and have to fix this immediately”
Goal thought: I can handle feeling uncomfortable in my body sometimes without having to “fix it”.

C: Thought that “I feel fat”
1. I am getting out of control and have to fix this immediately
2. “I am getting out of control and have to fix this immediately” is a thought that my brain is producing
3. I notice my brain keeps repeating the sentence “I am getting out of control and have to fix this immediately”, and this is just words
4. I notice that my brain has practiced this thought quite a bit over my lifetime, and it likes to default to it without my consent
5. My brain has been programmed to think “I am getting out of control and have to fix this immediately” by the beliefs in our society
6. The thought “I am getting out of control and have to fix this immediately” is not actually a problem, it’s a sentence in my mind
7. “I am getting out of control and have to fix this immediately” is just one possible option, maybe it’s not 100% true
8. It’s possible that feeling uncomfortable in my body doesn’t mean that I’m out of control and need to fix this immediately, there are other things this feeling could mean (ie: like, my body didn’t like that food or I’m retaining water because I’m a human animal)
9. It’s possible that other people have similar feelings in their bodies and do not make them mean they’re out of control and have to fix this immediately – there are other thoughts that could be chosen instead
10. I guess technically it’s theoretically possible that feeling uncomfortable (ie: feeling fat) in my body is harmless
11. I’m open to becoming a person that believes feeling uncomfortable in my body (ie: feeling fat) is meaningless
12. It’s possible that I could feel uncomfortable in my body and not make it mean I’m getting out of control and have to fix this immediately
13. I’m open to becoming a person who is willing to feel uncomfortable in my body sometimes
14. I’m curious what I might learn about myself if I were able to lovingly feel uncomfortable in my body sometimes
15. I’m interested in maybe becoming a person who is able to feel uncomfortable in my body sometimes
16. I’m looking forward to becoming a person who is able to feel uncomfortable in my body sometimes
17. I wonder who else I could help with this problem if I am able to allow the uncomfortable feelings in my body sometimes
18. I am willing to become a person who can handle feeling uncomfortable in my body
19. I used to be a person who couldn’t handle feeling uncomfortable in her body
20. I am a person who can handle feeling uncomfortable in my body with ease, grace and love

I know it’s a little messy. I also notice that I really want to say “feeling fat” instead of “feeling uncomfortable in my body”. Is there anything wrong with doing that? I know it’s not factually accurate, but it is literally what my brain says.

This is the biggest, most pervasive problem I have faced and I really am looking forward to changing my beliefs around it.

Thank you for any feedback.