Feeling Unloved

I’m sitting here alone at my brother’s house having a cry and pity party. My siblings and spouses gathered to celebrate my sister’s 60th birthday. The guys are out golfing. The swimming and biking that were talked about aren’t going to happen for various reasons, and those are the things I would have enjoyed. I could enjoy this time alone while everyone is gone, but I’m choosing to go to the dark place where I feel unloved and unwanted. I’m telling myself this always happens. No one ever cares about me or what I want to do.

C – sitting alone at my brother’s
T – I’m alone and no one cares
F – unloved
A – waste time
R – sink deeper into depression

What I want:
T – I have 4 hours of quiet time
F – excited
A – thought download, model, ask a coach, read a book, start making a baby blanket
R – happy with my alone time productivity

I WANT to believe the 2nd model but still sitting in pity.