Feeling validated and loved

How can I give validation/love/attention to myself when I’m desperate to get it from my boyfriend?
I create so much drama around it and I can’t control it at all. I mean I’m trying I’m working hard but I still get disappointed every time he doesn’t make me feel loved/ validated.
And I know he can never fully give it it me. (My list of expectations is super long and unrealistic, he can never fulfill it.) I have to be the one creating it for myself.
How do I deal with this drama? How do I stop ruining my relationship because of this?
And more importantly how can I start creating those emotions and things for myself?