Feelings- Discovering the ‘Good’ Ones

Yesterday was my first day in Scholars and I’m glad to be here. After listening to the call on feelings today I realize that the ‘bad’ feelings of sadness and fear come easily and often to me and the ‘good’ feelings of joy and happiness are rather elusive and infrequent. How can I get to a place where I can feel positive/negative feelings at a 50/50 rate? Sometimes it feels like I’m struggling to climb out of a hole but unable to get more than my head above ground level before I slip back in. One idea in the presented in class today was to allow feelings and I believe I do today but for much of my life was good at suppressing them.

There are some life circumstances that may be contributing to the heaviness that I feel. I invested in a personal development program going into debt and I didn’t believe in having debt, but of course, the program was to help me learn how to live my dreams and earn more money that would pay back the debt. Eventually, I sold my house to pay off the debt believing it was a step to my dreams, and a relief not to have debt. Then I took a leave of absence from my stressful teaching job to restore my health. Now I am not working, my health has not really improved (low thyroid, which the most difficult symptoms are impaired cognitive function and low energy) after trying numerous things over the past year. And I see my savings depleting without a reversal in sight. For living arrangements I do house and pet sitting or stay with friends who generously share their large home. I feel incompetent and that feels heavy. Also, I have been taught that thinking about the negative simply brings more of it into my life so then I feel bad about thinking about the negativity and struggle to escape the negative feelings.

Are there habits I can develop to increase my positive feelings? What can I do so that I can enjoy life with peace and confidence?

Thank you for your time and effort to answer my question.