Hi Brooke
Thanks for your thoughts re processing sadness and other feelings re finding out there would be no role for me at work.
As you rightly noted it is interesting that I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay but then was sad when they didn’t want me to stay. I was aware of this and the irony of it. But as suggested I’m now doing my thought downloads and models about this.
It’s all about fear of not being good enough and not being valued. And if I’m not valued then no-one will ever hire me again either for a job or the business I’ve been half developing in my mind. And clearly that means I’ll die broke, alone (I’m single) and homeless…(the bag lady fear)
Financially I’m doing okay and have no credit card debt, a small mortgage and a well geared investment property. However i will be spending savings to support myself if I’m not working and/or setting up a business. The bag lady was the fear I used to come back to a few years back when I was bad with money, had lots of credit card debt, no mortgage (and then a huge mortgage) and no skills in managing my money. Years later with lots of mindset work, new skills in budgeting and a small inheritance the bag lady is very unlikely.
Here’s my models
C. No role at work. Not invited to some sessions on planning that I might previously have lead
T: they don’t value me and that means no one will value me
F devastated / terrified
A turn away from team. Seek to escape early ie before I’ve planned departure
R show that I have no value. Become unwell and not be able to get more work
Intentional
C no role at work. Not invited to sessions on planning that I previously might have lead
T. They’re trying to work out how to do this themselves. It’s nothing to do with me or their thoughts about me.
F: calm. (Actually slightly anxious about future)
A: work on the things I have been asked to do. Focus on the future.
R ??
Thoughts?
Thanks, Kate