My fiancé struggles with credit card debt, and it bothers me. I believe you should only purchase what you can afford and, if you can’t afford it, you need to get a higher paying job or find side hustles.

Debt stresses me out because I feel like you are always living in the past trying to pay it off while other things come up. I have talked to him about how I feel about this and for several years he lied to me about spending on his credit card. This came into full view when we bought our house and again 3 years later when we refinanced. I was so angry that he was accruing debt and hiding it from me! I talked to him several times about seeking a higher paying job and he wanted to remain in his career for comfort. He finally got a higher paying job and cleared his debt.

Just recently, I found out he has over 2,000 again in credit card debt. I am extremely upset, but I have to give him credit for at least telling me when I asked. I feel like this can’t work because I want someone who can support me so that my job only adds to everything, but currently I’m the one who makes the most money and I’m the one always paying for things for fear that he will charge and it turns out, he does it anyways!!

C: Fiancé charged on his credit card again without telling me (until I asked)
T: I have to take care of all the expensive things and so I have to work more than I want to
F: Anxious
A: Ruminate on how angry I am about the situation. Think of all the things that irk me about my fiancé. Tell myself I need to throw the baby out with the bathwater- kick him to the curb regardless of the things I love about him. Get a little jealous when someone dates or marries a guy that seems to have his finances in check.
R: Don’t plan the wedding. Distance myself from him. Snap at little things that bother me.