Fibromyalgia & Chaos models

Hello beautiful,

I started out thinking about some intentional fibromyalgia models. Numbers 1 and 2 I worked from the top down. Number 3 from the bottom up. The thought on #3 doesn’t quite fit the desired lines below it, but I couldn’t figure out a better thought yet because of my note below these first three models.

C-physical fibromyalgia pain
T-I can honor my body by tuning in to it and listening to what it needs.
F-open, curious
A-depends on what my body tells me it needs: sleep, physical rest, better nutrition, movement/walking, specific pain relieving type exercises, do something creative, have fun, laugh, EFT, massage, drink more water
R-I feel more in touch with my body and more in control of how I experience pain

C-physical Fibromyalgia pain
T-while I’m tuned in and honoring my body, I can also ask it how I can push the envelope of what is possible for me each day
F-inspired, hopeful and intrigued
A-I would think about the things I’ve thought I can’t do and envision myself doing them, seeing myself bust through perceived barriers
R-I would be living life again instead of walking around in a haze of pain and brain fog

T-my life and my experiences are no accident and they position me to help others
F-energized, like I matter and I’m worth it
A-taking action each evening towards my life goals and my desires
R-eager to be off work so I can get to living life and making things happen and I’d be feeling accomplished

While working the above the, er, messy situation at work kept intruding on my thoughts so I moved to doing models of those thoughts. Rather than put them in a different post I wanted you to see the complete picture–or semi complete picture.

C-to do list at work
T-I have too much to do. It’s too much for one person.
F-overwhelmed, failure
A-buffer, jump from thing to thing, check phone for personal emails or whatever, read HR stuff that isn’t helping me accomplish anything
R-I don’t get things finished and I continue to have too much on my plate

T-I can’t focus and stay tuned in.
F-overwhelmed, inadequate, like there’s something wrong with me
A-buffer, keep picking up personal cell phone to try to do anything other than have to attempt to focus on my work
R-not focused, not finishing things

T-I can’t complete anything.
F-failure, like there must be something wrong with me
A-jump from thing to thing, buffet with personal email or non-essential business email
R-things are not getting completed and brought to closure

T-I move from one Uncompleted thing to the next uncompleted thing. I don’t seem to be accomplishing much
F-inadequate, failure, overwhelmed
A-pick up task and try to do something with it before getting frustrated and giving up moving to the next task
R-very few things get completed

T-my desk is a mess and unorganized
A-spend time trying to clean it up but can’t figure out or decide where to put stuff. Give up.
R-my desk continues to be a mess

T-I can’t figure out what to do with it
F-inadequate, overwhelmed, frustrated
A-try to organize but give up when I can’t make headway with it
R-not much changes. It’s still a mess that I can’t seem to fix

T-What the hell is wrong with me? How did I get here?
F-less than, inadequate, failure
A-wheel spinning, buffer, spend time wishing I had a spouse to support me so I didn’t need to work while I figure this shit out and get past it
R-feel even more inadequate and off-kilter

There aren’t any intentional models yet for the work related chaos. I’d love your thoughts. I feel like there must be some chemical issue in the brain or something since I can’t seem to focus or figure out what to do with stuff or make a damn decision. Thankfully I have not always been this way. So that makes it all the more frustrating. I’m 51 and peri-menopausal and wondering if that has anything to do with it. The same inability to figure something out and make a decision shows up in my meal planning and grocery shopping as well. (Basically it is showing up everywhere in my life right now.) I have not yet stuck with a protocol long enough to get to the “clearheadedness” everyone raves about.

Thanks so much for your guidance!!!