I’m still figuring out whether the path I want to take is because I truly want it or because it is the “socially expected” thing to do or because it is trying to live up to an intentional thought. I’ve just graduated college and find myself in a place of freedom to choose my own path in life and in career wise, but I find myself feeling overwhelmed and lost. I’m working through this thoughts in some of this month’s thought downloads. I’ve come to realize in doing my thoughtwork that I’ve been living my life in a passive reaction mode, so when I’m finally in this place to be the one to initiate action, make my own decisions, and carve my own journey, I find myself overwhelmed and turning to inaction. Here are some models below, please let me know any advice you have on reconnecting with your own desires and giving yourself permission to dream big.
T-“I don’t know what I want to do as a career”
A-buffer, procrastinate, do nothing
R-I remain feeling overwhelmed and I am not any closer to figuring out what I want to do
T-“I’m exploring/in the process of discovering what I want to do”
A-research different careers, take on/apply to new/different jobs
R-I’m closer to discovering what I want to do by gaining new experiences and skills and finding what I do and don’t like
Another part of this is tying my identity/self worth to achievement and conversely failure.
T-“My worth is dependent on how much and what I achieve”/”If I fail I’m not worth anything”
F-anxious like I’m walking on a tightrope/frozen with fear
A-I avoid situations where I think I will fail or only stay in comfortable situations that don’t challenge me or tap into my potential, buffer, give up when things are hard
R-I give up and become resentful and withdrawn or depressed because I regret not taking risks/living up to my potential
Intentional<–I need some help with this model, I may need to break this down into a more specific situation?
T-“There is nothing I can do to change my worth–I’m already worthy just by being” <–I need some help with a more believable thought in a more positive framework (this is one of the first models I did earlier in January)
OR “My worth and what I do are two separate things”
I appreciate all your help and I’m very glad with the awareness that scholars is helping me cultivate. I just joined this month and can’t wait to learn even more.