So I did the work on my fear. Oh boy! My thoughts have all been coming down to ‘I’ll be alone’ and so in order to prevent that from happening I’ve been carrying all the blame for things that have gone wrong, in order to keep the peace and I’ve also been arguing with my partner (and the previous one too) to make him see reason, make him see what he’s done wrong, help him understand and change so that we can work things out and be ok.
And the more I force the issue the further he steps away. He doesn’t want to work it out!
And I get it this morning that this is totally fine. He can be exactly as he is.
The part I don’t like is that I’ve been tolerating ill behaviour towards me from boyfriends my whole adult life.
It’s not nice! I want something very different from this.
My new intentional model;
C – Relationships
T – I have boundaries around what I’m willing to put up with. I have relationships with people who will engage with me.
A – Empowered and relieved
R – I have my own back
I can only change myself, right?