Finding the balance

Hello! I have a recent ex. We currently want different things. I want commitment and he is not ready yet so I decided we will no longer be together as I want more than he can give right now. I am trying to date others but not too much as we are in a pandemic. We still communicate daily as we care so much about each other. I have never had this before as all my other ex’s are out of my life because it has always been a bad ending. I’m going over my reasons for having him in my life still.

Why I want him in my life:
To prove that I can have him in my life and still be centered and keep my power and choose me and move on
I care about him
We have a great friendship
I’m happy when we talk
He has not hurt me, he still loves me
Afraid of the sadness that comes with loosing someone special to you especially in a pandemic where it’s already isolating.

Why I do not want him in my life:
I still love him
I am hopeful for more and hang onto his “I miss you and I love you” words
I am up and down with my emotions.
What if I don’t move on and he does

Now that I have all this information, what do I do with it all? I’m trying to find my power and balance in this whole situation where I seem to be a lot more focused on him than myself. A bit of people pleasing, betraying self in moments. I am working on it all, trying to make better choices, but I don’t know what are some powerful steps to keep choosing me and love and finding the balance vs a dramatic ending. Any coaching would be appreciated.