Had my first real disagreement with my live-in boyfriend. It was over something really unexpected. Our relationship has been super easy from the beginning so this took me a bit by surprise (not that we had a disagreement but the nature of what the disagreement was about is what surprised me).
I was sharing details of a visit to my chiropractor yesterday, a man who’s been my chiropractor for close to 15 years. We’ve known each other for a long time and some of the chats we have when I visit him are somewhat personal in nature. I tend to be open minded and his style is casual and we’ve never crossed any lines (he’s married) or been flirtatious, never. But some of the topics we talk about are not your typical patient/chiro topics I guess. And my boyfriend thought some of the things he shared with me where unprofessional and inappropriate. I didn’t really think so, I’ve never given it a second thought.
Last night, for the first time in our relationship, I felt him cold and distant when we went to bed and when he got up and went to work this morning.
I’m not sure where to go from here. He said he wasn’t upset with me, yet he felt strongly about his point of view, and definitely gave me the cold shoulder. I’m trying to see what his model is on this and I’m struggling. I think it has to do with him not being OK with me having personal conversations with other men. I work with a lot of men as well and am friends with a couple of them that I consider my “work husbands”. He’s questioned some of the things we share with each other as well so all of this could be at the root of the reaction last night.
What’s the best way to approach this? Do I use the information from the relationship module and go through the difficult conversations exercise? It seems like potential overkill based on the nature of the disagreement, or is it? Did he over-react or does he have a point? Need some perspective on this please…