Fitting In Vs. Belonging

My husband relationships with his immediate family has been strained for many years.
We have been married for almost seven years. He is not close with any of his siblings and goes long stretches of time without communicating with his parents.
As a group, a number of individuals in this family have blocked me on social media. And any other communication is extremely limited (text, phone, etc.)
Last year when we were in proximity to the family, I was not included in invitations to family events (the weekly Sunday dinners, movie night, lagoon, eating out at the family favorite restaurants).
I can appreciate that relationships just come from my thoughts. And while I am not in close proximity with these individuals there is still some sort of relationship. If it is merely an acquaintance relationship. These are relationships I have in proxy to my husband.
I want to own my models. I want to own what I am responsible for here and release everything else.
I am a very social person. I have tried to ‘fit in’ with the group but ultimately never felt any sense of belonging.
Moving forward I want to show up as the most authentic and honest version of myself.
One of my in laws biggest complaints about me is that I am close to my immediate family.
I find this fascinating. Why are my relationships really any concern of the extended family? Being my authentic self, I will have closer relationships to various family and friends. Why is this up for debate?
If the goal is connection – the way we are going about all of this …. more disconnection, and more distrust.
If I have my own back, love myself for who I am. I can allow others to misjudge, criticize and misunderstand me.
A lot of work surrounding all of these areas. Any suggestions on how I can dig in deeper?