Flood of anxiety

I feel like I’ve made so much progress over the past year using the model but I still have a very difficult time when someone gets mad at me.
Like when my husband snaps at me for bringing up something he doesn’t want to talk about. I instantly feel an intense flood of anxiety and I cannot think clearly to use the model. Looking back I think I am thinking I did something wrong and that I am responsible for his emotions. But I feel like when it happens I fall into this deep pit of anxiety and can’t reach my brain until the following day. His mom will be staying with us in a couple weeks and this is when it’s at his worst. He says mean things to me bc he’s stressed out and she tells me everything I’m doing wrong as a mom all day everyday. The anxiety is so much I just shut down. It’s for my daughter’s bday so the last thing I want is to be shut down and not present. I know in previous trainings this just takes time to get better at using the model while feeling intense emotions or using it before my thoughts create those intense emotions…. but is there anything I can work on over the next couple weeks that could make this experience a little better? Or even allow me to be present and enjoy my daughters bday party? Thanks:)