Flour, sugar, and now dairy

I recently had a protocol to stop eating flour and sugar and it went well for a couple of weeks. This is my second go around with trying to stop consuming flour and sugar.

I went to an event and I couldn’t bring my food in so I ended up eating there and from there I’ve been eating flour/sugar again regularly.

I am also vegan. I’ve been vegan for six years and I never struggled or budged until the first time I had quit eating flour and sugar and went back to eating it again. I ended up trying meat again after drinking alcohol. I reminded myself of the reason why I went vegan and stopped eating that food after the one time of trying it. Both times after quitting flour and sugar. When I started consuming it again (after failing to do so), I’ve added non-vegan food back into my diet.

Now, I’m going on a week and a half of eating dairy non-stop. I just avoid thinking about how I think it’s wrong to do so, but I feel this underlying guilt because I decided not to eat it for a reason and I think I shouldn’t be. I feel out of control with it.

I don’t want to eat it because I care about where it comes from and that’s always been a strong enough why for me to stay away from it. However, right now, I want dairy more than I wanna quit and I just keep eating it.

I never realized until typing this out, that the only time I went back to non-vegan food was after attempting to quit flour and sugar. I want to quit it all but it’s not some thing I want to give my full attention to right now because I decided to prioritize my business. I don’t feel like I have a strong enough why.

It feels pressing to me though to stop eating dairy because of my moral values. I know it take along urges but I don’t want to right now. I’m not sure where to go from here.

Food has been a comfort for me for so long this feels like a crisis when I I’m trying to quit eating emotionally I feel out of control and embarrassed.