I’ve been following my protocol, and my protocol is something I think is the most healthy, sustainable, satisfying way to eat for the rest of my life. No sugar or flour, lots of fatty meat, and some veggies. I love the vitamins I take and the dessicated liver supplements I take. Anyway.
I’ve recently committed to weighing myself every day because I can see I have given power to the scale.
C scale is up 3 lbs since Monday
Thoughts: I knew it, I feel huge, what am I doing wrong, why is this happening, it’s all downhill from here, I’m so uncomfortable in my body
I see that these thoughts are not productive. I don’t believe any truly “good feeling” thoughts. The best I can get to is sort of a “whatever, I can’t control my body” kind of thought, but that also doesn’t feel great.
C scale up 3 lbs
T What the hell, I clearly have no control over my body
F Apathy, but also sort of acceptance?
A I continue to eat on my meal plan, but I am not happy with my body. I don’t feel like I’m manifesting my best reality. Feel kind of like I’ve accepted the “reality that I can’t control my body”, but that doesn’t feel great. Definitely doesn’t feel inspiring.
R I continue to feel like I don’t have control over my body
I want to feel better in my body. I’m trying to think of the feeling I want to have. I guess I’m not really sure. I’m so tired of trying to lose weight by beating up on myself, I know I don’t want to do that. Maybe I could lean into curiosity.
C scale up 3lbs
T sometimes the scale will go up even when I don’t overeat. I can handle that my body behaves in interesting ways sometimes. What an interesting ecosystem I live in. Bodies are so fascinating.
F Compassion for myself and my interesting body
A I continue to eat on my meal plan because it feels healthy and nourishing
R I can handle the way that my body behaves, I can be compassionate for my fascinating body.
Is that it? I guess it’s not a BAD place to be. But I think I’d like to feel like “I’m so in control! Look at the amazing results I’ve created!”, which, I guess would be a feeling of, what….powerful? Any thoughts?