focusing on my priorities


I’ve struggled for a long time with focusing on one thing and sticking to my priorities. I still do now.
When I joined Scholars, I decided my priorities until further notice were working out (getting back my physical health after a series of injuries) and improving my skills as a developer (my job and passion in life).

But I still regularly get the thought of “I’d like to do [something else] again” (drawing, which is another big passion and source of joy, piano, learning Japanese, etc.). For now, I have successfully managed to not be tricked into that, but it still feels so much like restriction and punishment.

In the case of drawing, I haven’t practiced regularly in a while and I’m afraid I’m losing my skills. Yet it’s not in my priorities, and I’m wondering if putting time for it in my calendar (I am following the MHO method to plan my weeks) would be falling for the trap of wanting to do too much at the same time.

I ask myself these questions:
Q: what feels like love here?
Q: in what way could I bring [activity] back into my life without ignoring my priorities?

But the second question feels like a trap to me. Considering the list of things I want to do, if I were to accommodate my calendar to do it all, I wouldn’t be honoring my priorities anymore (it’s not quite “doing the math” as I can’t give you the exact number, but it’s as good as!).

This gives me this model:
C: (some activity I enjoy) is not on my priority list
T: at this rate I’ll never do it
F: impatience, frustration
A: I struggle with myself not to do it
R: ? I lose sight of my goals in life

I’m sure there’s a balance to find between honoring my priorities without forbidding myself to do things I enjoy, but right now I have trouble finding it. Please help me with this model! Thanks in advance